there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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