bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize