I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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