i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
