I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
