he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
