Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
