sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
