Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize