He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
