Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
