East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
