How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
is wine microwaveable?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
