So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize