Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
She's the barista slut.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
