Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
