your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize