Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
