Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
