She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
