We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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