If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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