I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
