I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
