Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
