This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Dick very happy bro
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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