i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
