Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
