You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
