Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
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