My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
