My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
