So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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