i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
