Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
