i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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