I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
operation harelip BJ is a go
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
