You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
