I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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