I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize