And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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