you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
