we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
So much rum. So many feels.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
