He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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