you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize