I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
