Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
