Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
