One girl and one boy is just not enough.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize