I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
