it's like iHOP with fire
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
