i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
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