I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
