she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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