"it" just moved
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize