Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
