do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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