i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
