I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
