He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
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